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#127 Confidence, Emotions, and Courage with Natalie Dumond

 
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Being vulnerable isn't easy. Showing your emotions isn't easy. Being courageous isn't easy. And being confident - not easy at all!

In this episode, I am talking to the powerhouse Certified Leadership Coach, Facilitator and Founder of The Worthy Project, Natalie Dumond, who empowers women to become more authentic, confident, and courageous in their lives and lead the lives with purpose they've always wanted.

Natalie's work got published with Dr. Brene Brown, and she trained with her personally.

IN TODAY’S EPISODE, WE TALK ABOUT

  • How to be confident and get the best job in the world

  • Why we should talk to instead of about each other and cultivate more empathy

  • How to be vulnerable and emotionally intelligent

  • How to have more courageous conversations

  • Why we judge other people - and hurt ourselves instead

And so much more! 

You can find the full show notes here:
martinafink.com/podcast/127

Have you downloaded the free Perfectionist Self-Care Bundle yet? Click here to access it:
martinafink.lpages.co/perfectionist-bundle

EPISODE RESOURCES

Alexi Panos on Instagram
Vanessa McDonald on Instagram and CourageCreator.com
The Untethered Soul - by Michael A. Singer
Untamed - by Glennon Doyle
Sign up for the 2021 New Year's Vision Mini Retreat here

CONNECT WITH NATALIE

Instagram
Facebook
LinkedIn
Website

TODAY’S EPISODE TRANSCRIBED:

Martina: This is episode number 127 with Natalie demand Welcome to the glow life podcast. The one and only place for ambitious, high achieving and perfectionist women like you who want to leave overwhelm behind. Turn self doubt into self confidence and learn to trust yourself again, so that you can work less fully love and accept yourself and live a fulfilled and glowing life.

Every week, I'll be giving you tips and inspiration on how to think less, feel more slow down and use your body and your daily habits to help you step up, level up and glow up in all areas of your life. This is not just about the big shifts, you can glow just a little more every single day.

Welcome to the global life podcast. My name is Martina Fink and today we're talking all things vulnerability, emotional intelligence and confidence. It's such a good episode. And I actually want to dive right into the glow tip before we get started with the conversation. And today what I want you to do today or this week is to look for the beauty in everything. Where can you see beauty? Is there a beautiful flower that you see? Is there snow outside that you see? Is there somebody beautiful smile that you get to experience? Is there a freshly Ireland t shirt whatever it is, focus on the beauty instead of on all the work that you should still get done or your to do list or checking Instagram or all of the things that we do to keep ourselves busy. shift your focus to something beautiful today.

And now I am so honored to introduce you to my beautiful friend, Natalie du monde who is a certified leadership coach facilitator and the founder of the worthy project. She empowers women to become more authentic, confident and courageous in their lives and lead the lives with purpose. They've always dreamed of her work God published with Dr. Bernie brown and Natalie also trained with her personally. In today's episode, we talk about how to be confident and get the best job in the world, aka what her and I are doing, why we should talk to each other instead of about each other and cultivate more empathy, how to be vulnerable and emotionally intelligent, how to have more courageous conversations, why we judge other people and how we hurt ourselves instead, and so much more. And you can find everything we talked about today in the show notes at martinafink.com/podcast/127.

Welcome, Natalie, I am so grateful to have you on the podcast today.

Natalie: Thank you for having me. I'm happy to be here.

Martina: So so many things that you're an expert on that I want to talk about with you today. Let's start with the worthy project. So that's all about connected to feeling worthy, I assume. Tell us everything about how you got to this point of creating this project. Awesome.

Natalie: Thank you. Yes. So the worthy project was an idea that came to me. In my first year of my business. As I was going around talking to different organizations and doing facilitation work, or I was coaching people or doing a speaking engagement. There was usually people waiting afterwards to talk about certain topics, how do I get more confidence? Or how do I set clear boundaries? Or how do I find my voice? And they were, you know, our purpose? What's my purpose? And how do I find fulfillment? So I was always staying back to answer these questions. And I just kind of noticed there was a, a need in the market for women to feel like they are enough that they're worthy enough, especially in their 20s and early 30s. And so that is what built the program. And I was like if I could help these women understand how powerful how impactful they are, so that they can go on and live the most fulfilled life earlier or sooner rather than later. That was it. So the worthy project was born from that.

Martina: So beautiful. And when you filled in the form for this podcast interview so I can prepare for it. What you said is, I still have the best job in the world. Can you tell me more about what specifically that means and what exactly you do in your job.

Natalie: So yeah, I still feel really honored every single day that I get up to do this. So I coach people one on one on particular areas that they want to thrive in, that they feel stuck so one to one coaching and I also get to do great facilitation. So I go to organizations. And I work with a lot of leaders, a lot of brand new leaders, and I coach them on two areas that I'm really passionate about. One is hard conversations and feedback. So showing people how to talk to each other rather than about each other. And then the other one is I teach about trust and forgiveness, because trust is so dynamic and fluid in organizations, and it can really go off side quite easily. And a lot of people aren't feel equipped to repair it. So I go in and do those facilitations.

And then I also have the big one, which is dare to lead by Dr. Bernie Brown. And that's a three day workshop that I also teach. So in that when we're teaching about vulnerability, we're teaching about empathy, shame, connection, belonging, diversity, inclusion, we're teaching about some of these big topics. And every single time whether I'm doing the smaller workshops, or the bigger one or doing coaching one, I want to watch the impact and see people shift and get this like, you know, holy shit moment. It's just the best feeling, watching them kind of, it's almost like there's a release for them. And they feel more grounded in who they are. And, and it just, I don't know, it's addictive, and it is just, it's so impactful. So why wouldn't I want to do that every single day? So yeah, luckiest person. Yeah, yeah,

Martina: I agree with you. And I mean, we do similar work, like very different, but similar kind of work somehow. And yesterday, I was on a call with somebody that I was able to help get so much clarity about something that has been with her for, I think, like triggering her for the past week. And she couldn't figure out what it was or why she was feeling a certain way. And just seeing how the light bulb goes off is like such a special moment.

Natalie: Totally like yesterday, same thing, I was talking with a particular client that had gone through a lot of life events recently. And the topic of I kept hearing her say, I will never forgive, I will never forgive. And we talked about what the topic of forgiveness means. Because I think a lot of people get forgiveness wrong. They think forgiveness is condoning another person's behavior. rather than letting go of the hope that anything could have been different than what it was we live in a should have coulda, woulda, right. And what we're saying is what the person did to you is not okay, it was probably cowardly. And it was manipulative, or was all of those things. But sitting in the he should have or she, you know, could have, if we do that, we get stuck in that toxic behavior. So just saying that one line to her, you can actually see her kind of just shift. And it was like, there it is. So yeah, it's incredibly powerful. When you just have those moments with your clients.

Martina: so powerful. I love to talk about something that you just mentioned before talk to each other instead of about each other than the women, the women I work with are usually in like high level positions somewhere in corporate, and there is so much going on between them and their co workers, them and their boss them and themselves. Like there is so much drama all the time. And they're usually not confident or courageous enough to have the conversation. So what happens is they come to me and we talk about these things. And usually I encourage them to have the conversation, like get them clarity about what they want to say and how they can say it so they can have the conversation.

But I can only imagine all the people that aren't working with us and like you know, aren't doing the work. They're investing and wasting so much energy talking about other people. And I will say I include myself how I used to be because I was like there was something I could complain about every single day, you know. And I didn't know that there was another option where I could have a really clear structure or plan of how I could have a conversation that is really hard. So how would you say or? Yeah, let's see what you have about that.

Natalie: So you want to know, like, how do you know how do you have hard conversations or what I would what advice I'd give to people if they needed to have one?

Martina:
Yeah, what advice would you give somebody who's like, who's a complainer and complains every day and doesn't move forward, but really wants to kind of let this leave this behind?

Natalie:
Well, you know, I just posted this on my Instagram feed from Alexi Panos and she had this great quote that said, you know, you have a choice basically every single day like if you you know, if you want to be offended, you can go out and find absolutely anything to go and be offended by. Or you can have the choice to let it go and move through it and heal from it. So you get to choose what person basically you want to be. Right and I just know when you're when you're caught up in that unhealed toxic,

you know, part of you it that's a heaviness, that's a burden that you were going to pick up every single day and walk around with. Why would you choose that? Right? So you can either choose to heal or you can choose to walk around being unhealed and Know when people are talking about other people, when I know when I hear judgment, like toxic judgment of putting a person down, that is coming from a place of your own insecurity, not them. Right. So, you know, what I teach a lot of my clients is to watch for this and other people and watch this in themselves.

So, there are two reasons why people are judging. They're judging in an area that one they feel insecure about. And two, they judge somebody that they perceive to be doing worse off in that particular area. So if I was insecure about the way that I looked, I and I wasn't healing that part of me. I would judge other people that I perceive to doing worse off in that area, because it gives me this pit of like, well, at least my life is not bad. I don't look that bad. I'm not doing that bad. And we can judge in all areas, right? parenting, career, money, marriages, friendships will judge wherever we're not feeling whole or secure. Because here's the one thing I know people that are grounded in who they are, and grounded in their own confidence. They have absolutely no reason to judge other people, because they feel good. All they want to do is build people up.

So when you're watching someone judge or tear someone down, or you're judging and tearing someone down, that's because you have a place to heal.

So that's what I say to those.

Martina: Those that does not mean, you never ever judge anybody. No,

Natalie: I do like, what what it needs to happen is I need to check into what's so now. What is triggering me, why does this bother?

Martina: Hmm.

Natalie: Right, rather than just being unconscious to it and then filling in, like, putting out toxins into the world? Yeah. Like, what does it like? So it gives me a hit of it, you know, to tear somebody else down? Okay? Why? Right? Why does that? You know, it doesn't mean that I'm not having hard conversations with people. It just means that I'm not talking about people behind their back. I'm not politicking. I'm not trying to tear anyone down. All I'm trying to do is build people up now and build myself up, like coming from that space, rather than where I was three years ago, or four years ago and corporate. Much better. Way better.

Martina: Yeah. And I think the thing around judgment, I read Debbie Bernstein's judgment, detox. And like, she starts the book off saying, like, I'm here writing this book judging myself, why am I even writing a book about judgment? You know, so I think it's something that we will always somehow do, or our brains are built a certain way to always find, look for the negative and for the danger and all of that. But at the same time, like you said, I think it's about becoming aware of, why am I experiencing this? Am I in the comparison? Am I in the fear? Am I in the insecurity? And if so, what can I do to move out of that?

Natalie: Right? Yeah. And and, you know, if you're feeling unhealed in a particular area, you're just like, Why am I always tearing down a woman for this? You know, parenting the way she parents or I don't know, the way she handles her job, or the way she looks at? Why am I doing this? Like, it feels good for a second, but it's not really that good. I don't want to be known as that person. That's not the legacy I want to leave behind. Yeah, you know, I think people need to really question that.

Martina: And then it's also the energy you send out, it's always going to come back to you. So this kind of jealous energy or, you know, this really negative, insecure, fearful energy is just gonna circle back to you like 100 100 fold, you know, so, yeah, and one of the things we talked about is be responsible for the energy that you put into the room,

Natalie: be responsible for your own energy. Right? So a lot of the time we don't, we're not conscious, we're not intentional. We're not like, how am I showing up.

Martina:
And one of the things you also talk a lot about a lot is vulnerability. And I feel like in today's world, it's very hard to know, how do I navigate that? There are people you know, crying on Instagram, there are people not sharing anything personal Instagram. So how do we find or not even just Instagram, even somebody has their own business or even in a normal corporate job where you, you know, how can you be vulnerable? in a way that is actually healthy?

Natalie:
Yeah. So vulnerability, by definition means uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure, uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure, like, I don't know many humans like that are always signing up for that because it feels so uncomfortable. But that's where the growth is, right. And the thing about vulnerability is a lot of us are avoiding vulnerability, because we think it's the it's the birthplace of like, embarrassment and sadness and grief and regret and humiliation and shame and those big experiences and they are, like vulnerability, like you can be vulnerable and those experiences are right there to happen. Absolutely. But the thing to also note about vulnerability is that's where love, joy, belonging, creativity also live to be vulnerable. In those It is also an experience. So

Martina: Yeah, because I feel like sometimes, it's also being shared, too, in order to get approval, or, you know, and, and it's not always about being of service to others.

Natalie:
Yeah, that's how I look at vulnerability is like, I'm going to be vulnerable, because I know that's where my growth is. So I sign up for vulnerability, I do it. And I know I'm going to be uncomfortable. But I know that I can always come through it. And then I get to choose based on my audience, which is going to have the better impact. Right, right. Like if I was running a workshop tomorrow and say, I got into a fight with my spouse today. And I hadn't emotionally process it, I'm not going to go into that workshop and just start talking about it. It's not the right audience, I haven't probably emotionally processed it. And I don't know if it hits where it needs to hit. So anyway, those are just some of the boundaries I put around it anyway.

Martina: Yeah. And also, as long as you haven't processed this, I always think how I share my stories is that I can only share it when I'm ready to receive whatever feedback and it's gonna leave me cold. Like, I won't be able to be triggered around it, because I'm still in the healing process. So then I feel like okay, now I'm ready to share. But yeah, it depends on the audience and kind of what you what you want to share. But I think it's important that we can still be vulnerable. And it doesn't mean that we have to show up, you know, crying in or like five minutes after the fight and tell the world what's going on and say, I'm just want to be vulnerable with you.

Natalie:
Yeah. Right. Because then are you doing it for validation? Are you doing like, what are you doing it for? Right? So, yeah, it's just knowing you're absolutely right, just know your audience? And can you be triggered by it still, because at the end of the day, the best way to build connection with people, is through storytelling. People want to see themselves through you and be like, I had that experience parenting to my kid lost their mind in the grocery store or whatever, right? They're just they want to see themselves through yours, as well. So, vulnerability, we all do vulnerability, we just either do it consciously, or we do it unconsciously. So I'm choosing to do it consciously. I love that.

Martina: And I would like to dig a little deeper into your experience, like outside of what you're teaching and understand better, you know, what were the challenges that you had to go through around vulnerability or finding your purpose or feeling courageous to have those conversations? What are some of the things that you really struggled with?

Natalie: So super shy kid growing up, and I still have those those moments today? Where I want to like I can feel like I just want to hide, especially in a larger group, where I don't know how to like if I'm not like Leaving the group, you know, I just have to kind of just show up, I will always usually still take the back, you know, the backseat and kind of observe. I'm a good observer. I'm gonna say and then and then I'm like, okay, maybe that's how I can interject. So I'm still always trying to figure out like, this sounds weird, but like play the room. I don't want to play the room, but it's just like, how can I fit into the room. So there's been that I remember one of my biggest breakdowns, one of the most vulnerable moments, I've had a lot was going through my coaching certification. Like I went into coaching, getting my certification, thinking, I'm going to get all these great tools, and I'll just be a good coach, a great coach. And what ended up happening is, when you go through certification, it ends up breaking you down. And you have to look at all of your Ross bots and your limitations and your, you know, savage, or the Gremlins or whatever. So I had a big breakdown moment in front of everyone publicly.

Martina:
What did that look like? Like, where are you?

Natalie: Yeah, so we were in this one of our sessions, and it was all about embodiment, right, getting into the body being playful, all of that, and that that's hard for me, right? Because sometimes I can get stuck up here. And so some people, my class, were really loving the playfulness, and getting, you know, embodiment. And everything in me kind of like, resisted and hated, the experience was like this look stupid, I'm not going to look that stupid, I'm not going over there and you know, rolling around on the ground, or being really expressive, or whatever they were doing, right. And it just felt awful.

So I remember, there was a, we were there for three days doing all this stuff. And I was really pushing. And I was always exhausted, because this was a stretch for me. And they had this line, they put this blue tape on the line, and everybody had to make like a declaration, and then step across it about like, what they had really, you know, achieved that weekend. And I was still hating the experience. I didn't want to declare anything, and I could just feel and they're like, okay, one minute, and then we're all going to do the thing. And I've been working with this partner in the room. And I could just feel the tears coming up. And I ran out of the room, I had to go so method in the Hyatt Hotel in Toronto, in the basement there and one of the conference rooms at the bathroom at the side, and I cried for like an hour, like ugly cry, I couldn't stop, one of the instructors came into the room. And she's like, and I'm like, I hit and everything just came out. So they eventually pulled me back into the room. And of course, I'm in a room of 25 coaches. So everybody cares about how I'm feeling and what I'm doing. And here I am being witnessed. And I want to be witness, I'm a shy, like, I was like, just everyone Leave me alone, but they wouldn't. And they called me up to the front of the room and they coached me live in front of there. And it was one of my biggest like, break down moments being witnessed that I'm thankful for. But man, it was tough. It was really vulnerable and raw. So and I just I got really that's the day that I got in touch with my, what I call the itty bitty shady committee. And I woke up to them, and I'm like, Oh my god, you've been driving the bus this whole time. That was a huge, horrible breakdown moment publicly.

Martina: And so interesting how we, when we get put to the push to the edge, all subconscious bullshit comes up. And it's Oh, it's a lot, usually.

Natalie: Totally. Right. And so yeah, like, you're gonna look stupid. People are gonna think you're weird. Like, whatever comes out, right? So you're just like, just stay small. Just play it safe. Just hide and it still happens to me. Absolutely. It does. I'm just more conscious of it now. But it'll probably be a work off for a while.

Martina: For sure. It's usually like a life's life's task to fulfill, you know?

Natalie:
Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, that was one of the probably the biggest, vulnerable moments for sure. And then I've had them in leadership too, and just, you know, mistakes there. But they're all they're all good learning opportunities.

Martina: And what was your biggest lesson from this experience?

Natalie: I think the biggest lesson for me was really getting in tune with what, what I was saying to myself internally, how was showing up where where was that narrative coming from? Like, I got fascinated, like when I woke up to, you know, whatever you want to call it, the saboteur or the Gremlin, you know, the roommate. When I woke up to the power it had on me, I got actually really fascinated with not only mine, but everybody else's, because I just think it's holding everybody back. So it was a huge lesson for me on how to deal with it, how to move through it, and just how to process it. Yeah, it

Martina: is really fascinating once you start to understand how it works and how you can break through. And then also it just shows up kind of everyday everywhere.

Natalie: You're like, Oh, yeah, totally does. And now I'm on to Like generational narratives, like because we show up, and then all of a sudden, you know, our parents or caregivers, they can condition us as well. So what are they saying to us about, you know, our finances or taking a risk? Or how we look or you know, just all of those if you actually get really curious about like, How did my parents talk about money? Right? How did my parents talk about a career or education? Or, you know, sexuality, or faith or any of those things? Why do I just adopt them? So I got now I'm getting really curious. With generational limitations or narratives. I think it's,

Martina: it's so interesting. I had a conversation with somebody yesterday about generational trauma and things that are passed on to the newer generations. And I realized, I don't know, are you familiar with the chakras? Yes. So the second chakra is the sacral chakra, which is where the womb space is, so where a baby grows, right, and that's the space of self worth space of trauma and relationships. So imagine, like a baby is growing in that space of your body, where you have all the trauma of your own life stored, and the losar self worth feelings, and all the relationship issues. And then that baby is in there for 910 months, it just energetically soaks it all up, right? And then you birth the baby into the world. And it's already kind of energetically pre programmed with all of that stuff. So I found that really fascinating.

Natalie: Yeah, they're doing more studies on that. Even just like, in the cell, like cellular, like watching some of the, when they look at Holocaust survivors, and after they survived, and they had children, and then you know, some of their children are coming into, you know, into the world with higher rates of anxiety, depression, and all of that, but they weren't part of the Holocaust. So what, you know, what kind of cells were passed on to them when their mothers were in that type of fear and trauma as well.
So they're doing studies about that as well. It's quite fascinating. So, like mind blowing, really,

Martina: if somebody has a dream of stepping out of corporate and no longer, you know, basically doing what you and I were doing before we had our own businesses, what would be your number one tip for them?

Natalie: You know, the funny I stayed up till 10, last night talking to somebody about this do is just start, like, just start something you got us it's the momentum, a lot of us get stuck in our heads of like, Where could go wrong? And in what could get in the way? So I think it's the only way you're going to know is by just starting right? And you probably say this is progress over perfection. You don't know until you start something but a lot of us get kind of held up on like, is this even is people are gonna like this. Is this a silly idea? Maybe there's too many people already out there doing this, like all of the errors that come up, like are there lots of coaches in the world?

Yes, there are a lot of coaches in the world right now. Are there a lot of people talking about confidence and all the stuff that I deal with worthiness, boundaries, voice there are, but there's nobody that's doing it the way that I am. Right? So it's just you have to look at it from a different perspective. And so for me, when I started, I started with my website. It was just it was a start. And then I started by telling people what I was thinking. And then people started talking to other people, they're like, hey, actually send me over here. And I just started, like, my business is different in two years, compared to where I started in March of 2019. is different. I didn't know what I didn't know, All I knew is I just needed to start.

So you know, stop getting like brainstorm. That's it, write down your ideas, get get them out on paper, see what you can see. And then from there, what's your next step? Is it going out and asking people in your network? what's possible? Is it building a website like I did? Can you start? I don't know, do you need to go to the bank and talk to somebody about your finances? It really just comes down to for me, you just have to start because you don't know what you don't know. And it'll just get the momentum going.

Martina: Yeah, and I know a lot of my perfectionist, they they have this fear of what if I start and then I cannot deliver 150% because they're all overachievers. Right. I think it's just really important. We can make up so many stories. And it is also completely okay to fail and to not do well and to try 157 times until it's quote unquote perfect, you know, for your own standards. But if you don't start with the first time, you will never get to the 100 and 57th time.

Natalie: It's just about like, you know, Vanessa MacDonald said this, to me, and I love this quote, it was like life is about living in the iteration. Right. So it's not about being perfect. So if we use my website, for example, when I started, I was like, you know, so still working in corporate and working at this at night, because I knew I was going to be making this transition. So this was my way of kind of like getting my thoughts down of like, who I served, what products I worked on like that. It kind of did that for me. And I worked on it, and what pictures and all this kind of stuff, and I was getting so wrapped up in like, like the spacing and the color you do in the morning, and I just hit launch.

And then I went on LinkedIn, and Instagram and Facebook, and I said, Hey, everybody here, you know, this is after I left corporate, I was still working on it. And finally I launched it. And what ended up happening is I got a lot of feedback from people a lot of positive feedback. And then a couple people were like, Hey, now there's a spelling mistake here. Or Hey, now, you might want to did it here. I was like, Okay, great. So I went a lot faster, with people giving me their insights that I did on my own. Yeah, I think I just have to constantly ask myself what's good enough? Because I'm going to learn in the iteration, I'm going to learn by launching, and then getting the feedback and then improving, launching, you know, getting feedback improving. So it's this process, there's not perfect, right? Like my website now, like, I need to update my website again. It does, I don't, I don't think it's okay, right now. But back then it was good enough, it got me what I needed to do. And it got the ball rolling. I just started. Love it, you have a dream, just literally start something.

Martina: Start something theater on

Natalie: momentum, go and go talk to somebody that will inspire you to move that might have some connections, build the website, go to the bank, whatever you need to do, but just start.

Martina: I think also having conversations is great that sometimes people say, you know, I actually have never talked about this, and it feels so scary to talk about it. But as you start talking about your dream it it starts forming itself. And it becomes more real than just a story in your mind. So I think having the conversations with whoever was the coach with your girlfriend with a partner, just is also a really great step,

Natalie: you know, and it's true, be and be conscious of who you're talking to talk to somebody that has done it before. That is a couple steps ahead of you. Right? You know that somebody that inspires you like and, and reach out to them? See if they'll have a 15 minute coffee chat with you on what's possible, where do they get their start? Because you want to be careful that you're not talking to people that have never done it. Because what could happen is they might project their insecurities or their fear onto you, which will just magnify your own. Right, so they will not start and they won't start right. So there's a lot of non starters out there. So if you're getting your advice from them, or people that had never done this dream, that might not be the right place for you to start the conversation.

Martina: Very good point. I want to know from you, what does living a glowing life mean to you? Personally, Natalie?

Natalie:
You know, I think it just is coming down to just being being yourself? For sure. And then for me, I don't know, it's being in service having an impact. Like nothing makes me feel better when I have created some kind of impact in another person's life for the positive.

Martina: Yeah. And it gives your life meaning.

Natalie:
Yeah, you know, like a lot of people come to you and I because they want to understand what's the purpose in life, and how do they feel fulfilled? And what I keep finding from myself and from what all the stuff I'm reading is your, your purpose comes from impacting and being in service to other people. Yeah, it's that giving when you have that, and it aligns to what you're passionate about. There's nothing better, it just feels so good. I couldn't agree more. One of the things we talked about in finding that purpose and finding that passion is it comes from your pain, your pain, you know, so things that have been painful for you. In Your Life. There's something there, there's a net, so ignoring that pain is not the right thing, but you've gotten that experience so you can help, you know, be in service to other people so that they never have to experience that pain again. Yes, something around that is really powerful when it comes to finding your purpose and your fulfillment. So anyway, that's what's the glowing light for me is creating impact and feeling like you're in you're in alignment with who you're supposed to be.

Martina: I love this so much. And do you have some non negotiable self care routine that you do regularly or every day? Definitely water like love, love cold water, so

Natalie: I drink a lot of that but self care, you know? Lately I've been working out the peloton has been an anchor for me this year, that bike. Oh my god, the best workouts. So that's been a huge anchor for me. And reading would probably be another form of self care for myself like a love a love a good book on deep right into untethered soul by Michael singer right now. It's blowing my mind I think it should be on everybody's like Christmas list or just should just be on everybody's nightstand. Should beautiful day for everybody. But yeah, so probably reading water and moving my body right now with the peloton.

Martina: Amazing. And so I have a couple of quick questions before we wrap up. Okay. What is your favorite quote?

Natalie: Well, this is an Oprah quote. Well, I've never it's not Oprah actually maybe was Maya Angelou. When you know better you do better.

Martina: Mm hmm. Beautiful. And besides the untethered soul that you're reading at the moment, is there any other book that you're you would 100% recommend to everybody? untamed Glennon Doyle, like another.

Natalie: Bible? Everybody must read this, especially women. So untamed, an untethered soul are the two books in 2020. For me,

Martina: yeah, that I have that on my nightstand too.

Natalie: It's beautiful. Yeah.

Martina: If there was one thing that you could take with you to a desert island, what would it be?

Natalie:
My, my family, like? Immediately, it was just my family, or does it need to be an object? Now? That's fine. Yeah, no, I take my family. They they're coming with me. I can't be with them. So I'm a mom of two boys, small boys. And then I got my hubby. So yeah, they're coming.

Martina: Beautiful. And what are three things that you are grateful for today, Natalie,

Natalie:
I'm definitely grateful for my health. And the strength of that I'm grateful. I'm just grateful to I think be born in this time and watching things shift and change right now. To be a woman in this time to be a coach in this time to have the education level that we do at this time to be living in this country that I live in. Like, I've just I'm grateful for all I feel like I've won the lottery, and what I stand in now. So that's kind of a bunch of things. But this timeframe I'm grateful for, and I am grateful for, yeah, my family and my dog sitting over there. So those connections are the most importantly, so nice.

Martina: Is there anything else you would like to share with our listeners today?

Natalie: You're all just amazing. You really are. If you ever doubt that just call me or Martina will remind you. But like, yeah, you're absolutely amazing. And I appreciate you giving me and Regina your time today. So thank you. Thank you, thank you, but never doubt how worthy you are. Because you're absolutely amazing.

Martina: I'm so beautiful and weak. I feel like this is a reminder, we cannot even get enough like somebody could tell us every day and we would still need to hear it every

Natalie: day to just remember. Sure. Yeah, we all have crappy days. We all have days where we doubt our capabilities or knowledge or all of that. And we feel lost sometimes. So if you ever get down that road, call us. Call us.

Martina: Love it. How can people find you online?

Natalie: Yeah, so I have my Instagram page with Natalie Dumont, all one word. And I'm also on Facebook with Natalie Diwan. And I have I pretty active on LinkedIn, that's where like to hang out as well. So you can find me there as Natalie Dumont

Martina: beautiful. And we will share all the links in the show notes so everybody can go connect with you. Thank you so much for coming onto the show today. Natalie, it was so great to chat with you. And I really just want to acknowledge you for the work that you are doing in the world specifically for women and specifically also in leadership. Because it's not the easiest place to be. Let's just say that. So it's great to see leaders like you be there and it's been so great to speak with you.

Natalie: Thank you so much. Martina loved it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you everyone. Have a great day.

Martina: I am so fueled with confidence and that spark inside from the conversation with Natalie. I hope you enjoyed this conversation as well. If you loved it as well please subscribe to the glow life podcast and leave me a review. I would be so happy to see how you like it and so that you can inspire other people to see this podcast as well. For everything we mentioned in today's episode, you can go check out the show notes at martinafink.com/podcast/128.

I would love to connect with you on social media you can find me at Martina glows on Instagram and Facebook.

And if there's anyone in your life that you think could benefit from this episode and needs a little bit more confidence then please forward it to them. Right now. A little reminder that on January 23, I'm hosting a 2021 New Year's vision mini retreat online.

So if you have been wanting to set some solid goals and get inspired for this new year without feeling overwhelmed and like to have to do it the right way.

Go to The link in the show notes to sign up or go to my website Martina Fink calm to get more details about this mini retreat.

Thank you so much for being here today and for listening to our conversation.

I hope this inspires you to live in even more glowing life.

You deserve to feel healthy, confident, empowered, and beautiful.
-
Thank you so much for listening to this episode! I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below! If you can think of anyone in your life who could benefit from this episode, please share it with them right now! <3

 
 

FREE BUNDLE

The 3 Steps High Achieving Perfectionists Can Take
For A Healthier Work-Life Balance

 
 

These Are The 3 Elements Included In The Perfectionist Self-Care Bundle

01 Where Is Your Self-Care At?

With this quick assessment workbook, you will be able to detect where you're at with your self-care and what your next step is to improve the quality time you spend recharging yourself.

02 Why Is Self-Care Important for Perfectionists? And How Do I Start?

Self-care is key for a healthy work-life balance for high achievers. You work a lot and you're easily stressed, right? Get my top 6 tips to kickstart your self-care without feeling overwhelmed. Shift from "doing" to "being" and find peace in your busy life.

03 Full Body Stress-Release Meditation

Stress and overwhelm isn't jut in the mind. It also shows in your cells, your muscle tension, and your hormones. Relaxation start with releasing stress from the physical body. Take a moment to relax every single part of your body to get grounded again.


DISCLAIMER

All material in this episode is provided for your information only and may not be construed as medical advice or instruction. No action or inaction should be taken based solely on the contents of this podcast episode. Instead, readers should consult appropriate health professionals on any matter relating to their health and well-being.

The information and opinions expressed here are believed to be accurate, based on the best judgement available to the speakers, and readers and listeners who fail to consult with appropriate health authorities assume the risk of any injuries. In addition, the information and opinions expressed here do not necessarily reflect the views of every contributor. The Company acknowledges occasional differences in opinion and welcomes the exchange of different viewpoints.

#126 If You Can't See Another 2021 Goals Post

 
EP126 Cover.png
 

Let's be honest: 2020 was a tough year and we're ready to move on. But how does it make you feel to hear everyone talk about what they learned and what they're leaving behind? And what they did in each month of the past year?

I get it. We're kind of over it by now, aren't we?

I got really frustrated and triggered when I sat down to reflect on 2020. It felt like I hadn't moved forward in any way.

And I remembered to be compassionate with myself, to be kind with myself. I remembered that I am still OK and still amazing EVEN THOUGH things could have turned out much better.

Listen to this episode if you'd like an inspirational and humbling pep talk to pick yourself up from self-pity or to just fully dive into this new year with clarity and courage like never before!

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Sign up for the 2021 New Year's Vision Mini Retreat here

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TODAY’S EPISODE TRANSCRIBED:

Welcome to the glow life podcast. The one and only place for ambitious, high achieving, and perfectionist women like you who want to leave, overwhelm behind. Turn self doubt into self confidence. And learn to trust yourself again, so that you can work less fully love and accept yourself and live a fulfilled and glowing life. Every week, I'll be giving you tips and inspiration on how to think less, feel more slow down and use your body and your daily habits to help you step up, level up and glow up in all areas of your life. This is not just about the big shifts, you can glow just a little more every single day.

Welcome back to the glow life podcast. My name is Martina Fink. And I am so grateful that you are here today for the first episode of 2021. So first of all, happy new year, I hope you had a great time, celebrating the holidays and some time off and are really energized and already glowing in the new year. Today, I want to talk a lot about this new year thing, because although January 1 was really exciting, and I loved watching everybody's 2020 takeaways and things like that reflections. But at some point, I got really sick and tired of everybody saying 2020 was such a hard year. And, you know, we made it through it and watching everybody's photo reviews from last year, what they have learned what they are leaving behind. And I just feel that it is something everybody's talking about. And by now we're probably over it.

So, I also took some time over the holidays to sit down and look at my goals. I have this goal setting planner that I created for myself initially, and I use it with my clients as well. And I reviewed the goals that I had set for myself a year ago in 10 different areas of my life, including health, relationships, social life, work, all the things that matter in life, really. And I looked at the goals that I had set for myself, and also realize that I did not achieve so many things I wanted to achieve. And I felt really triggered and frustrated for like an entire day.

I haven't followed through in many areas where I wanted to achieve things. And I usually pick three main goals. So the three goals I wanted to achieve in the past year, I did not really move much closer to that if not move completely away from it. And the reason why this happened was because of a couple of different things. Obviously, we went through a pandemic, we're still in a pandemic at the moment. And that does a lot with us, right. And when you have your own business like I do, you are the way you feel has a direct impact on the results in your business. So I got in my way a lot. I was standing in my own way a lot in the past year, I was too comfortable at home on the couch. I slept in almost every day. And I told myself stories, why I cannot work or why I cannot get the things done or focus on the things I really wanted to achieve last year.

And while even saying all of this out loud right now, it is a lot of judgment that I had when I started these realizations. I was really hard on myself, I was like you slept in too much, you're too comfortable at home, you got in your own way. And while I could completely go on this self judgment journey and be really hard and mean to myself, I had to realize that I also get to just have compassion with myself.

And I also get to be kind to myself. And I know that whatever happened last year, I did the best that I could, I could not have done better. I literally could not have done better right with the resources and the information and the energy and the emotions that I had. And I also get to realize that I am still enough. I am still amazing. I am still glowing. Even though I did not achieve many of the things I wanted to achieve and it is 100% okay, if you did not achieve your goals last year, and you are still 100% okay, you're still 100% enough, you are still 100% beautiful, and worthy of an amazing life.

So, if you have been really hard on yourself, with your reflections of the past year, or with how the past year went, just sprinkle in a little bit more love and compassion for yourself, and be kind to yourself. Because what truly matters in the end is how we communicate with ourselves. The stories we tell ourselves, the way we treat ourselves, right? The most important relationship in the entire world is the one that you have with yourself. And so maybe this is an opportunity, an invitation for you to check where your self love is truly.

Now over the holidays, I've also taken so much time to prepare for the new year, I have actually never taken this much time to properly map out everything and desires and, and the things I want to work on in my business as well as my personal life. And one of the things I'm really focusing on for this new year is not so much the things I want to do, but more how I want to feel this year. And this kind of transition has already happened during Christmas during the holidays. Because I have celebrated so much over these past two, three weeks, I even danced with my mom on New Year's Eve, and my dad was watching us because he doesn't like to sing at all. And we had so much fun dancing together, I organized a couple of dance parties with some of my friends. And it has just been beautiful to tap into that energy.

And that's exactly the kind of energy I want you to tap into in the new year as well. Not so much of how can you get this and this done? How can I achieve all my goals? What is the next thing I need to do? Because you are already doing so much like remember that, right? You are already doing so much you already have all these to do lists. We don't need more of those, we need more joy, we need more pleasure, we need more fun in this new year. Because guess what, we still don't know what's gonna happen in three months, right?

So, we have been prepared for this time of uncertainty. And now that we have gone through the 2020 experience, now we know what it's like. And now we can practice being present with ourselves and have fun with ourselves. And know that you get to be yourself, you get to have fun, and you can dance even when the world is on fire. What matters is that you are in the present moment. Because this is where we can find true peace in the present moment. No matter how long your to do list is no matter how big the goals are you want to achieve in this new year, you get to be present with yourself, you get to find joy, you get to dance to your favorite song, or to a song you have never heard before, or to a song that isn't even your music style, you get to explore that. And the more we can feel this energy, the more we can raise our own vibrations, we are going to attract more of the things that we want. And we're also going to attract the kind of people we want to have in our lives this year as well.

That being said, I am hosting an online mini retreat to help you set your intentions and visions for the new year. So if you have been feeling frustrated, just like me, in December, or even maybe still are because you didn't prioritize your goals, or you haven't achieved your goals the way you wanted them to. Maybe you're struggling to dream big, because we really don't know what's gonna happen, right? Maybe you're struggling to even have any goals at all for this new year. And you're just like, you know, I just don't want to set any goals at all. And that's also completely fine. But I still think it is interesting and important to have some sort of direction where you want to go this year, goals or dreams with a plan.

So, I think it's extremely important in this time where we don't know what will happen. Not we don't lose sight of our dreams, even if they are, quote unquote, too big for right now, even if they are not going to happen this year at all. Who knows, we never know. So start dreaming, start planning and start doing take action on the things you want to achieve. So I wanted to quickly give you a brief overview of what we're working on in this mini retreat. First off, we're going to start with intentions and with a celebration party. We're actually going to dance together, and that's something that has been, like I just mentioned before, a really important part of my life in the past year. And I don't think we get to actually celebrate ourselves enough. And even if there is absolutely nothing to celebrate, we'll still get to dance together and just swim in this beautiful energy of connected women from around the world that just want to feel really good and glowing.

So we're starting with that. And then there is a lot of time to actually brainstorm and plan and prioritize what are your main focuses for this new year. And maybe you are already have a couple of goals that you want to work on. But we go a little deeper into the 10 areas of your life that you can set goals for, we're going to prioritize what are the top three most important ones? And why are they so important to you. Because if you just have a goal or a dream, and you're not really sure why you want to achieve it, you won't follow through, the dream won't make it to the end of the year, right. So that's super key.

And then I'm going to guide us through some practices, including a powerful visualization where you visualize what you're going to cultivate and create in this new year. And also, I'll be giving you some journaling prompts in the workshop where you are going to get more clarity. And you will get your own guidance for how you can make this the best year because I could go on and on about all the amazing things you can do. I could give you all the tips and the manifestation hacks and everything. It might not work for you because it's not your own guidance.

So, we're really diving into your own intuition in this workshop. And there will be time for sharing and coaching, where you can ask me questions where you can ask for support where you can also just share your vision, and the beautiful dreams that you have in your life. Because sometimes let's be honest, we have dreams that we don't dare say out loud. And we have dreams that we don't talk about with our friends, right? Because you might think that they are going to say that you're crazy, or that it's never going to happen. And maybe that has happened in the past. This is a space where you can come in and share anything that's on your heart, any dream, any plan, any idea, any intention that you truly desire to cultivate and create in your life. And it's a safe space, and we're not going to judge you, we're actually going to celebrate you for that. So this is something that you want to join.

The mini retreat is happening on January 23. I will put the link in the show notes to get direct access to the page where you can sign up. Plus you can also just go to my website, Martina Fink comm and find the details there. I would love to see you there. I would love to support you with some new visions for the new year. And remember, if you lose focus, all you can do is just refocus. It's not the end of the world, we get to reassess where we want to focus on. So head to the show notes or to the link on my website. And I would love to see you there. And if there's anybody in your life that needs to hear this compassion, pep talk about how 2020 was and how we dive into this new year, then please send this podcast episode to them right now.

Thank you so much for being here today.

Please take some time to rest to be with yourself, to plan to party to dance and to just glow from within.

Because you deserve to be healthy, confident empowered, and beautiful.

-

Thank you so much for listening to this episode! I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below! If you can think of anyone in your life who could benefit from this episode, please share it with them right now! <3

 
 

FREE BUNDLE

The 3 Steps High Achieving Perfectionists Can Take
For A Healthier Work-Life Balance

 
 

These Are The 3 Elements Included In The Perfectionist Self-Care Bundle

01 Where Is Your Self-Care At?

With this quick assessment workbook, you will be able to detect where you're at with your self-care and what your next step is to improve the quality time you spend recharging yourself.

02 Why Is Self-Care Important for Perfectionists? And How Do I Start?

Self-care is key for a healthy work-life balance for high achievers. You work a lot and you're easily stressed, right? Get my top 6 tips to kickstart your self-care without feeling overwhelmed. Shift from "doing" to "being" and find peace in your busy life.

03 Full Body Stress-Release Meditation

Stress and overwhelm isn't jut in the mind. It also shows in your cells, your muscle tension, and your hormones. Relaxation start with releasing stress from the physical body. Take a moment to relax every single part of your body to get grounded again.


DISCLAIMER

All material in this episode is provided for your information only and may not be construed as medical advice or instruction. No action or inaction should be taken based solely on the contents of this podcast episode. Instead, readers should consult appropriate health professionals on any matter relating to their health and well-being.

The information and opinions expressed here are believed to be accurate, based on the best judgement available to the speakers, and readers and listeners who fail to consult with appropriate health authorities assume the risk of any injuries. In addition, the information and opinions expressed here do not necessarily reflect the views of every contributor. The Company acknowledges occasional differences in opinion and welcomes the exchange of different viewpoints.