"I am creating the life of my dreams."
What a powerful statement, right? If you said that statement out loud, would it be true? Would you feel excited? The fascinating thing about affirmations, other than the fact that they truly work, is that they only work if you believe that they work. Your energy about them matters, your feelings about them matters, your internal voice matters, and your subconscious belief patterns matter.
Although many countries are opening up, and some activities are returning to a "new normal," many of my clients, however, have been feeling quite socially overwhelmed. There is so much to catch up on, so many friends to reconnect with and so many functions to attend (in-person!). They have been saying YES to everything, and then feeling over-committed and resentful of the pile that is building up for them.
Introverts, listen up!
You're not committed enough.
In April, I ran a free 3-day stop-the-stress challenge. 150 women signed up, which is awesome! However, only 4 of them made it to day 3... Where were the other 146? Probably, they got overwhelmed by their calendars, got unexpected work projects, had other plans (which is totally ok!), were so busy with life.
And if you were one of them, don't worry, I'm not blaming you :) In fact, I used to be exactly like that! I used to think that the free stuff would change my life drastically - which it rarely ever did!
Is the majority of your food vibrant? Green? Red? Yellow? Purple? As in spinach, peppers, carrots, strawberries, and pineapple.
Or is it brown, beige, and white...? As in bread, cake, pasta, sandwiches, and processed snacks?
Be mindful of what you put in your body, because it directly impacts your body, your soul, and your emotions. Think about it: what you eat, goes into your stomach, gets digested and becomes your blood, your cells, and other bodily tissue.
Self-Love
...means showing up to the f*ing mat when all you want to do is eat chips and watch Netflix.
...means doing the damn heart opening meditation when you just want to close your heart and crawl up in bed and cry.
...means writing in your freaking journal that you just want to throw out the window.
Self-care on the good says is just kind pampering. Face masks, bubble baths, lighting a candle, reading a book... It feels nice and you really love it. You practice something regularly, you strengthen a muscle, so that when things don’t always go right, you know you have the strength to get through it. You know you can rely on yourself.
Practicing self-care on the hard days is true self-love. You do it when you really don't want to. You do it when you just want to throw in the towel and walk away. You do it when all you want to do is hide under the covers and cry and sleep. Showing up with kindness, compassion, and love for yourself in these moments, you have figured out a bit part of what I call "the Glow Life".
It may require a bit of a loving kick in the butt from your higher self sometimes, and you may really want to do the opposite of it, but when you have reached the point where, in your darkest moments, you take care of yourself in a loving way, that's what true self-love is.
Love yourself enough to show up for yourself when you need yourself the most.
I created a free self-care guide if you’re someone who always puts everyone else - especially work! - first and needs some tips for perfectionists to slow down again! Click the button below to download your self-care guide for free:
Yes, you can definitely set boundaries while improving your relationships as well as having more time left for yourself. Taking care of your own needs is your duty. When you're filled up, you can serve others so much better. When you're filled up, you can show up for your loved ones with 100% of your energy, love, and time. Whereas when you're already burned out, your plate is overflowing, and you're running at 7% of your own batteries, you can only show up for them from that place.
I have a very special client, Sophie. Sophie is 7, and we meet once a week to work on mindfulness, gratitude, and self-confidence. The other day, as we were playing with my Tibetan singing bowl, she found my purple, glittery magic wand from my childhood. She invented this game where we had to close our eyes and I would say what I wished for in my life. Then she would say "abracadabra simsalabim" and play the singing bowl. Then it was her turn. She always said I had MORE wishes I could make, which, of course, I loved!
Most people think that health is a very complicated topic and we need all kinds of lab tests and doctors visits to find out if we are healthy or not. While lab tests are great, there are some super simple indicators to tell how healthy your body is - without having to go to the doctor (unless you experience severe health issues, then please consult your doctor).
So often, women come to me, we have a great conversation, and they are ready to change something in their lives (or at least that's what they say!). A few days later, they come back saying that they'll first try to implement what they already know. However, chances are very high that not much (if anything) will change for them in the following weeks and months, and here are two reasons why:
Today is Mother's Day, and I want to talk to you about something that I haven't openly talked about yet in my community: motherhood. While 90% of my close friends are already mothers, I currently couldn't be much further away from motherhood than I am right now.
I thought by age 30, I would be happily married.
Happy Sunday, beautiful! Let me guess: you set an alarm to wakeup this morning, so you wouldn't waste your time sleeping and resting - because you have so much to do, finish, and accomplish today. And maybe, today was an exception and you didn't set an alarm :) But I've found that 90% of my perfectionist clients wakeup with an alarm on Sundays (and of course Saturdays, too!), because there's just so much to do.
The results my clients have been getting in the past few months blow my mind! Here are some related to their high-demanding careers: Promotions at work, pay raise at work, invite to join diversity & inclusion team, courage to speak up at work and ask for what they want, express their concerns and opinions at work without fear (and many other life-related things, such as candle-light dinners and date nights with their partner, better sleep, dancing and playing the piano etc.!)
Recently, I had to be really honest with my clients and they probably did not like me. I called them out on a toxic pattern. I had been called out on the exact same thing before, too, so I get it. And that’s why I needed to address it. We were a couple of weeks into the program and nobody showed up for our call on time. The first lady came in 7 minutes late to the meeting.
My goal in 2015 was to finally figure out meditation that everybody in the self-help books was talking about (and I’ve read ALL of them!). I started 21-day challenge after challenge and never made it past day 3. I tried this app and that app, but it just never clicked. It was almost 2017 when I finally figured it out, and meditation has since been a part of my daily practice.
Today, I want to talk about one of my clients who is engaged and learned a really hard lesson this week. She had a painful conversation with her fiancé and spent the entire last weekend crying. Her fiancé told her that she wasn't making their relationship a priority. He didn't feel like he was actually important to her. BOOM. I don't know about you, but I really don't want my partner to hold the mirror up for me and tell me this.
This photo is from NYC in October of 2019, just a few days before I moved out of the place I had called home and worked in for 4 years, the place I thought was my foundation. I had hope about life again, but it was still difficult. I knew life wasn’t punishing me, but it was still kinda hard to trust. I didn’t know how it would feel to live alone again after so many year. Not that I have a problem with being alone at all. I love my time alone.
It’s OK to have a blah day, beautiful! I’ve felt so cute the other day, and my hair has grown so much since last year, hasn’t it?! But I couldn’t get anything done... Literally all I’ve done today was reviewing the perfectionist detox training I did in November, which has been on my to do list for weeks and that I kept postponing to “tomorrow” - which, as we all know, never happened. And check all my DMs on all platforms.⠀
